Can The Patron Saint Be Paid An Extra Sixpence A Week?

Oleh Unknown

Senin, 04 April 2016

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King Freddie was worried about the patron saint. George was claiming an extra sixpence a week for having successfully undertaken a mission in Scotland when King Duncan had demanded the return of his sporran. 'He says you promised to raise the matter in parliament,' Freddie said to Prime Minister Merlin. 'I would like to,' said Merlin, 'but first George must account for that bag of golden sovereigns he took with him.'

'How much did he bring back?'

'Nothing! He says he ran out of money in Bowness, near Lake Windermere, and we had to arrange for an emergency payment of his salary from the local treasury.'

'Where did all my beautiful golden sovereigns go?'

'He says they were scattered on the moor by a Scottish clansman. Some were picked up by Jack and later given to King Duncan as compensation for the loss of his sporran.'

'Did he bring back any receipts?'

'No, he said Duncan ran away when the Loch Ness Nellie appeared out of the Loch, so he was unable to ask for a receipt.'

'Duncan ran away eh? I would have liked to see that.'

'So we just have George's word for what happened to the money.'

'Can we trust his word?'

'Oh yes, I'm sure we can, and he's backed up by Jack, but the official records look very bad without appropriate documentation. It's hard to argue in parliament for a salary increase with this big hole in the patron saint's accounts.'

'Then it's up to George to find a way to solve the problem.'

'Yes, I suppose so.'

Merlin still wasn't happy, but he had other pressing matters of state requiring his urgent attention. King Pierre was complaining again about the import duty on French onions, and Admiral Sir Salty Biscuit never stopped demanding more ships for the navy. If he reduced the duty on onions how was he going to pay for the new warships? He would have to find more funds from somewhere. He would like to sack Cuthbert, the former patron saint, and now the useless minister for subsidence, that would save five shillings a week, but Freddie would never agree to dismiss his old friend. No, it wasn't much fun being prime minister these days. He couldn't wait for the next pointed-hat-off week.

However hard Merlin worked, the fate of those golden sovereigns and George's plight kept coming back to mind. He knew only too well how parliament always suspected that the king and his ministers were diverting state funds into their own pockets. What else could he do to prove the money had been spent on the business of the state and not hidden away in a vault in George's castle? Why, of course, the castle would have to be searched! He sent a minion to the justice department for a warrant.

Saint George, Rusty Knight, and Monster Tamer is a series of nine self-contained historical short stories which introduces George, a hapless knight who has an unusual skill for monster taming, and which, with wit and delightful aplomb takes the young reader on an adventurous journey though some significant moments in history.

By: John Powell

Tag : Humor